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"Practical politics consists in ignoring facts."
- Henry Adams

"A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done."
- Fred Allen

"Don't tell my mother I'm in politics - she thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse."
- Anonymous

"If I rescued a child from drowning the Press would no doubt headline the story "Benn grabs child".'
- Tony Benn - British Politician

"I am on the right wing of the middle of the road and with strong radical bias."
- Tony Benn

"Deleted by French Censor"
- James Gordon Bennett - US Newspaper owner/editor - Used to fill empty space in his papers during WWI when news was lacking

"PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting."
- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock."
- Wynn Catlin

"I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me."
- Camillo Di Cavour

"Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated."
- G.K. Chesterton

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it."
- Clarence Darrow

"Hoover, if elected, will do one thing that is almost incomprehensible to the human mind: he will make a great man out of Coolidge."
- Clarence Darrow - remarking during the 1932 presidential campaign.

"If we lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name."
- Moshe Dayan - Israeli General

"They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits."
- Joe Early - Congressman - at a press conference to answer questions about the Houes Bank scandal

Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics:
1- Get elected.
2- Get Re-elected.
3- Don't get mad, get even.
- Sen. Everett Dirksen

"The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy."
- Edwin Edwards - Governor of Louisiana

"Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned."
- Milton Friedman

"A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel."
- Robert Frost

"A diplomat is man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age."
- Robert Frost

"In your heart you know he's right."
- Barry M. Goldwater - US Rep. Politician - Campaign slogan -- His opponents retaliated with "In your guts you know he's nuts!"

"We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. "
- Buck Henry

"In a disastrous fire in President Reagan's library, both books were destroyed. And the real tragedy is that he hadn't finished coloring one."
- Jonathan Hunt - New Zealand Politician

"Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders."
- Bob Inglis, 1995

"The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector."
- Knight Ridder News Service dispatch

"How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read."
- Karl Kraus, "Aphorisms and More Aphorisms"

"Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks."
- Doug Larson

"Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too."
- Lichty & Wagner

"If you don't want to use the army, I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours Respectfully, A. Lincoln"
- Abraham Lincoln - letter to General George B. McClellan during the Civil War.

Magary's Principle:
When there is a pubic outcry to cut deadwood and fat from any government bureaucracy, it is the deadwood and the fat that do the cutting, and the public's services are cut.

"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does."
- Groucho Marx

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies."
- Groucho Marx

"One day the don't-knows will get in, and then where will we be?"
- Spike Milligan - remark about a pre-election poll

"My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin."
- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician

"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report."
- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa

"Crime does not pay ... as well as politics."
- Alfred E. Newman

"The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos."
- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981

"I would have made a good Pope. "
- Richard Nixon, U.S. President

"I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes."
- Richard Nixon, U.S. President

"My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you that I have signed legislation to outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
- Ronald Reagan - Recorded when asked to do a microphone test

"Please assure me that you are all Republicans."
- Ronald Reagan - Rep. President - addressing his surgeons on being wheeled to the OR after an assassination attempt

"Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class managemnt."
- Senator Soaper

"Well, I have one consolation. No candidate was ever elected ex-president by such a large majority!"
- William Howard Taft - US President - referring to his defeat in the 1912presidential election.

"The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten."
- Mark Twain

"Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people."
- Oscar Wilde

"We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us."
- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius

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