"We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us."
- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius

"Being sued by your own record company, that's even better than receiving a Grammy"
- Neil Young (after Geffen Records sued him for not fulfilling his contract, even though he delivered records), Geffen's responce: "Mr Young's records are impossible to promote"

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henny Youngman

"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"
- Henny Youngman

"My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!"
- Henny Youngman

"I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."
- Henny Youngman




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