"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner."
- Calvin Keegan
"The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward."
- John Maynard Keynes- British Economist
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
- Stephen King
"I've just read that I'm dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers."
- Rudyard Kipling - writing to a magazine that had mistakenly published an announcement of his death
"A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself."
- Lisa Kirk
"An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible."
- Alfred A. Knopf
"The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector."
- Knight Ridder News Service dispatch
"If you look like your passport photo, you're too sick to travel."
- Will Kommen
"How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read."
- Karl Kraus, "Aphorisms and More Aphorisms"
"A dirty mind is a joy forever."
- Randy Kunkee
Click for the Funny Quotes Archive Navigation frame,