"Call on God, but row away from the rocks."
- Indian proverb

"Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders."
- Bob Inglis, 1995

"2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time."
- Inside of a Pepsi cap

"Repel them. Repel them. Induce them to relinquish the spheroid."
- Indiana University fans' chant for their perennially bad football team

"The only difference in the game of love over the last few thousand years is that they've changed trumps from clubs to diamonds."
- The Indianapolis Star

"One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs -- but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette."
- Prof. Charles P. Issawi

Click for the Funny Quotes Archive Navigation frame,