"A man in love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

"How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?"
- Charles de Gaulle

"A hypothetical paradox:
What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?"
- Tom Galloway

"I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers."
- Gandhi

"I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike."
- Emile Henry Gauvreay

"The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights."
- J.P. Getty

"I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for half the money."
- Arthur Godfrey

"Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance."
- King George V

"You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit."
- E.A. Gilliam

"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made."
- Jean Giraudoux

"Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Know thyself? If I knew myself, I'd run away."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water."
- Sidney Goff

"When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy."
- James Goldsmith - British businessman

"America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole."
- Bobcat Goldthwait

"In your heart you know he's right."
- Barry M. Goldwater - US Rep. Politician - Campaign slogan -- His opponents retaliated with "In your guts you know he's nuts!"

"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth--even if it costs him his job."
- Samuel Goldwyn

"Between infinite and short there is a big difference."
- G.H. Gonnet

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's *not* the U.S. Army doing it!" - Good Morning VietNam

"It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they couldn't charge sixteen dollars for that little tiny jar."
- Jane Goodsell

"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like you passport photo."
- Al Gore

"I'm not the person your mother warned you about... her imagination isn't that good."
- Amy Gorin

"For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something."
- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to the U.S.

"On a clear day, U.C.L.A."
- Graffiti in San Francisco

"When we ask for advise, we are usually looking for an accomplice."
- Marquis De La Grange

"Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease."
- Colin Greene

"These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder."
- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
- Lewis Grizzard

"History repeats itself; historians repeat each other."
- Philip Guedalla

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
- Sacha Guitry

"Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen."
- Woodie Guthrie

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