"I think, therefore I'm single."
- Female philosopher

"I am the emperor, and I want dumplings."
- Ferdinand I - Emperor of Austria

"We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had the wrong idea at first, and so on. So there isn't any place to publish, in a dignified manner, what you actually did in order to get to do the work."
- Richard Feynman

"Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor."
- Edgar R. Fiedler

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
- W.C. Fields

"I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes."
- W.C. Fields - during his last illness

"On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."
- W.C. Fields' epitaph

"I like children. Properly cooked."
- W.C. Fields

"... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs."
- Robert Firth

"Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity."
- Robert Firth

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."
- Malcolm S. Forbes

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
- Henry Ford

"The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable pi can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change."
- FORTRAN manual for Xerox computers

"One of the greatest labor saving inventions of today is tomorrow."
- Vincent T. Foss

"It is a secret in the Oxford sense: you may tell it to only one person at a time."
- Oliver Franks - British philosopher and administrator

"Attila the Hen"
- Clement Freud - British liberal politician and broadcaster - on Margarest Thatcher.

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, `What does woman want?'"
- Sigmund Freud

"Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned."
- Milton Friedman

"To a Californian, all New Yorkers are cold; even in heat they rarely go above fifty-eight degrees. If you collapse on a street in New York, plan to spend a few days there."
- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts

"To a New Yorker, all Californians are blond, even the blacks. There are, in fact, whole neighborhoods that are zoned only for blond people. The only way to tell the difference between California and Sweden is that the Swedes speak better English."
- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts

"To a New Yorker, the only California houses on the market for less than a million dollars are those on fire. These generally go for six hundred thousand."
- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."
- Robert Frost

"A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel."
- Robert Frost

"A diplomat is man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age."
- Robert Frost

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